"Even if the morrow is barren of promises,
Nothing shall forestall my return,
To become the dew that quenches the land,
To spare the sands, the seas, the skies
I offer thee this silent sacrifice"
21 Jan 2010
When my friends and I talk about relationship, I most probably hearing things that the other half control them. That is pretty common until I am not surprised to hear it. For me, I do not like to control my other half. Simple reason, she will have her own lifestyle as well. Freedom, that is another reason.
Would you like to be controlled totally? Answer is no.
People who control their gf/bf is because they scare of losing them, this is the most logical reason I can come up with. There are other reasons as well. If your relationship is good, why scare? You have nothing to fear. You can't be selfish and keep your other half from contacting his/her friends. I find it as a act of selfishness. People who control their gf/bf are nowhere any different from a dictator, seriously. Guy who control his gf is seriously a freaking disgrace. I hate guys who said they put down their pride to ask for a patch up when they are actually in fault. These type of guys are INSULTS to the real man's pride. Seriously speaking, there is quite a long list of types of people which I hate.... What I can do? Learn from their mistake and don't commit such selfish mistakes.
Would you like to be controlled totally? Answer is no.
People who control their gf/bf is because they scare of losing them, this is the most logical reason I can come up with. There are other reasons as well. If your relationship is good, why scare? You have nothing to fear. You can't be selfish and keep your other half from contacting his/her friends. I find it as a act of selfishness. People who control their gf/bf are nowhere any different from a dictator, seriously. Guy who control his gf is seriously a freaking disgrace. I hate guys who said they put down their pride to ask for a patch up when they are actually in fault. These type of guys are INSULTS to the real man's pride. Seriously speaking, there is quite a long list of types of people which I hate.... What I can do? Learn from their mistake and don't commit such selfish mistakes.
15 Jan 2010
It has been some time since the last time I walked in a drizzle. Today, I had my haircut as my hair was getting long. Out of boredom, I read all my sms inbox and noticed one of the message which I previously did not pay attention to. It seems that she gave her new number beforehand. I sms-ed her through that number, she asked me who am I. I answered her question and she asked if she gave me her new number. I replied that she did give. After awhile, it died. I texted her how have she been. No reply ever since.
Waiting for my turn to have my haircut, there was tevelsion showing some old chinese drama. There is one part whereby the girl said that all guys keep their stuff/secrets/emotion (well, basically everything) in their heart. True, same goes to me as well. I am no exception from that sentence. Rarely will I share with my friends my troubles, sorrows and others. I listen to my friends pouring out their feelings. Most of the time, the issue or the problem lies with me. No point sharing if I don't do anything and just saying it. Sometimes, it just that I feel even if I tell them, they can't help much about it. For me, when I can't help my friend, I felt useless. I am not sure about my friends if they feel the same way. But still, I won't tell them just in case if they feel the same way as me. So usually, I blog but I won't reveal much as well..
Last night, my friend was chatting with me on Twitter. Well, not exactly like MSN chat though. She asked me not to be emotional so much. Well, it's hard not to be that way when you miss someone. Don't you think so? She shared with me if she miss someone, she would just cry. I wish I could but I guess I have no tears left? The last time I cried was when I was in Secondary 1. Ever since then, I didn't cry even when my grandmother passed away. I was sad back then when she passed away, just no tears coming out. She said that I was strong. This leads me to think of a double-edged sword. Both side of the double-edged sword can be used. In life, most things are like a double-edged sword. Good and bad, strong and weak and others. What you see might be just one sided. I may seems to be strong but I do have my weakest moment. I may seem cheerful but I do have my saddest moment. By the way, what is the definition of "Strong" in life? Physically? Mentally? Emotionally? Spiritually? How would you define strong? I know one thing is for sure: I am not strong...
Walked in the drizzle... It was ages since I last did that. Nowadays, it keep raining. I am always tempted to walk in the drizzle but it was not at the right time. Everytime it drizzles, I also have my bag of notes with me or my laptop. Today, I had my keys with me only. So I just walked in the drizzle and at the same time, it made me feel better. It also straighten my thoughts as well. I am nothing, why should I go into relationship since I have nothing to give to my the other half? What I can give is something that is not practical or essential for survival. It's no wonder she ignores me. I have no idea what's going on and I having guess about it. Well, I roughly got her message that asking me to leave her alone.... I guess I am too sticky and irritating. I am depriving her from her freedom and interuppting her focus. I actually unknowing did something that I didn't want to do in the first place. Now, just let me "disappear" for now....
Waiting for my turn to have my haircut, there was tevelsion showing some old chinese drama. There is one part whereby the girl said that all guys keep their stuff/secrets/emotion (well, basically everything) in their heart. True, same goes to me as well. I am no exception from that sentence. Rarely will I share with my friends my troubles, sorrows and others. I listen to my friends pouring out their feelings. Most of the time, the issue or the problem lies with me. No point sharing if I don't do anything and just saying it. Sometimes, it just that I feel even if I tell them, they can't help much about it. For me, when I can't help my friend, I felt useless. I am not sure about my friends if they feel the same way. But still, I won't tell them just in case if they feel the same way as me. So usually, I blog but I won't reveal much as well..
Last night, my friend was chatting with me on Twitter. Well, not exactly like MSN chat though. She asked me not to be emotional so much. Well, it's hard not to be that way when you miss someone. Don't you think so? She shared with me if she miss someone, she would just cry. I wish I could but I guess I have no tears left? The last time I cried was when I was in Secondary 1. Ever since then, I didn't cry even when my grandmother passed away. I was sad back then when she passed away, just no tears coming out. She said that I was strong. This leads me to think of a double-edged sword. Both side of the double-edged sword can be used. In life, most things are like a double-edged sword. Good and bad, strong and weak and others. What you see might be just one sided. I may seems to be strong but I do have my weakest moment. I may seem cheerful but I do have my saddest moment. By the way, what is the definition of "Strong" in life? Physically? Mentally? Emotionally? Spiritually? How would you define strong? I know one thing is for sure: I am not strong...
Walked in the drizzle... It was ages since I last did that. Nowadays, it keep raining. I am always tempted to walk in the drizzle but it was not at the right time. Everytime it drizzles, I also have my bag of notes with me or my laptop. Today, I had my keys with me only. So I just walked in the drizzle and at the same time, it made me feel better. It also straighten my thoughts as well. I am nothing, why should I go into relationship since I have nothing to give to my the other half? What I can give is something that is not practical or essential for survival. It's no wonder she ignores me. I have no idea what's going on and I having guess about it. Well, I roughly got her message that asking me to leave her alone.... I guess I am too sticky and irritating. I am depriving her from her freedom and interuppting her focus. I actually unknowing did something that I didn't want to do in the first place. Now, just let me "disappear" for now....
31 Dec 2010
Last day of 2010. Not much to post about. The incident happened close to one month ago. The impact was strong and till now, I still the side effects of it. It totally shaked me off track seriously. Meanwhile, what I can do is to hope and pray. As my friend told me: "What's yours in life shall not be taken away from you", these words somehow give me hope and install fear in me as well. Quite contradicting.. Well, 2010 is a closed chapter once it pasts 12.00am. A new chapter awaits, a new year starting with a bang. I hope everything will turn out smoothly for everyone adn all the best for them...
19 Dec 2010
Verse 1:
The last that ever she saw him, carried away by a moonlight shadow,
He passed on worried and warning, carried away by a moonlight shadow,
Lost in a riddle that Saturday night, far away on the other side,
he was caught in the middle of a desperate fight, and she couldn't find how to push through.
Verse 2:
The trees that whisper in the evening, carried away by a moonlight shadow,
Sing the song of sorrow and grieving, carried away by a moonlight shadow,
All she saw was a silhouette of a gun, far away on the other side,
He was shot six times by a man on the run, and she couldn't find how to push through.
Bridge:
I stay, I pray, I see you in heaven far away,
I stay, I pray, I see you in heaven one day.
Verse 3:
Four a.m. in the morning, carried away by a moonlight shadow,
I watched your vision forming, carried away by a moonlight shadow,
Star was glowin' in a silvery night, far away on the other side,
Will you come to talk to me this night, but she couldn't find how to push through.
Bridge:
I stay, I pray, I see you in heaven far away,
I stay, I pray, I see you in heaven one day.
This is the lyrics for the song "Moonlight Shadow" which I have been listening to it over and over again for the past few days... Apparently, there are different version but I like this version the best. The tune is representing the emotions that I am feeling now...
Youtube: Moonlight Shadow by Groove Coverage
The last that ever she saw him, carried away by a moonlight shadow,
He passed on worried and warning, carried away by a moonlight shadow,
Lost in a riddle that Saturday night, far away on the other side,
he was caught in the middle of a desperate fight, and she couldn't find how to push through.
Verse 2:
The trees that whisper in the evening, carried away by a moonlight shadow,
Sing the song of sorrow and grieving, carried away by a moonlight shadow,
All she saw was a silhouette of a gun, far away on the other side,
He was shot six times by a man on the run, and she couldn't find how to push through.
Bridge:
I stay, I pray, I see you in heaven far away,
I stay, I pray, I see you in heaven one day.
Verse 3:
Four a.m. in the morning, carried away by a moonlight shadow,
I watched your vision forming, carried away by a moonlight shadow,
Star was glowin' in a silvery night, far away on the other side,
Will you come to talk to me this night, but she couldn't find how to push through.
Bridge:
I stay, I pray, I see you in heaven far away,
I stay, I pray, I see you in heaven one day.
This is the lyrics for the song "Moonlight Shadow" which I have been listening to it over and over again for the past few days... Apparently, there are different version but I like this version the best. The tune is representing the emotions that I am feeling now...
Youtube: Moonlight Shadow by Groove Coverage
18 Dec 2010
I went out with my mum to Nex shopping mall this morning and at the same time, I went to settled my ATM card because of my mistake. The other day I lost my wallet and I cancelled my ATM card. They sent a new ATM card to me along with my new pin which is a seperated letter. When I went to activate the card, I didn't check and as a result, the new card is also blocked. Best joke. After that, my mum and I went to Nex to do some window shopping. I saw there is a G2000 store and quickly went in to check it out. I saw this black tie.. I like it seriously, I don't really like my clothes to have so many patterns on it. I prefer it simple. There were a few formal wear that caught my attention as well... Haha... Next, we went to Fairprice and bought some stuff. Then we both came across the wine section, I was like "Hmmm, I had never try white wine yet. All along, I was drinking red white.". I asked my mum if we could buy one bottle of white wine and she agreed. We ended up buying one bottle of white wine and one bottle of red wine XD WEE~ Hehe... I shall strike the white wine first.
11 Dec 2010
Recently, I watched a movie called 'The Sister's Keeper'. The main plot is whereby a girl name Kate was suffering acute promyelocytic leukemia, a cancer of the blood and bone marrow. In order to save Kate, the parents decided to 'genetically engineered' a child. This child name Anna. From birth, Anna has been dontaing bone marrow, blood and umbilical cord to keep Kate alive. Till the age of 13, Anna was required to donate one of her kidney to keep her alive. However, once Anna donate her kidney, she might not be able to lead a normal life like playing soccer and be a mother. Anna filed for medical emancipation which will protect Anna from any transplant of her body parts. Of course, her mother was in rage and both of them fought the case in court. In the end, Anna won. During the trials, Anna had memory flashback of how close she was with her sister. Along the trials, a saddening truth unfolded. It turned out that Kate was the one who told Anna to filed for medical emancipation as Kate did not want to live any longer. Kate knew that Sara, her mum would not listen nor accept Kate's request. So Kate asked Anna to file for it. Sara broke into tears as she did not want to lose Kate.
While I was watching, I have these thoughts: 'How did my mum and dad feel when both of them were told that my dad had colorectal cancer', 'How did my mum feel when my dad moved on?' and others. Most of the question or thoughts was mainly revolved around my dad's cancer, my dad and my mum. While I was watching and thinking about those, I can't help it but to let a few tears dropped. It has been a long time since a tear dropped from my eye. I really miss him even though I have not much memories of him. The main reason I took this course and choosen the R&D track is to join the fight against cancer. One of my personal goals is to prevent family from suffering/breaking up by cancer. After watching this movie, I was more motivated to work hard to work towards my goals.
While I was watching, I have these thoughts: 'How did my mum and dad feel when both of them were told that my dad had colorectal cancer', 'How did my mum feel when my dad moved on?' and others. Most of the question or thoughts was mainly revolved around my dad's cancer, my dad and my mum. While I was watching and thinking about those, I can't help it but to let a few tears dropped. It has been a long time since a tear dropped from my eye. I really miss him even though I have not much memories of him. The main reason I took this course and choosen the R&D track is to join the fight against cancer. One of my personal goals is to prevent family from suffering/breaking up by cancer. After watching this movie, I was more motivated to work hard to work towards my goals.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)