9 July 2010

 BEFORE YOU READ THIS POST, IF THERE IS ANY THINGS THAT YOU FEEL THAT I SHOULD BE RESPONSIBLE FOR. SAY IT IN FRONT OF ME. I WILL TAKE UP THE *** **** RESPONSIBILITY.
This morning, I told myself to patch back the friendship between Guo Wei and I. I offered to print today's Analytical Biochemistry practical today. I photocopied for Leon, Tsz Ting, Guo Wei and Leon but I printed the wrong manuel. I asked Huda to print for them since she need to use a thumbdrive to print her stuff. In the end, Tsz Ting had her own copy. So I gave to Sherry, Leon, Guo Wei and Lidya. I paid the money back to Niva since it was her who paid for the 4 copies. Guo Wei got the 4 copies and he put it on the desk that I was sitting on in a cold attitude. I told myself, "He is still mad at me, never mind. I should give him some time to think about." Throughout the day, he was cold to me. I was unable to understand. Before the practical, there was an one hour lecture of marketing. After the marketing, I called him but he choose to ignore. Once again, I understand how he feels. Around 1pm, I told Leon, Joshua and Guo Wei that we have a meeting for our marketing project. Leon had Japanese lesson which mean Guo Wei and Joshua are able to attend. They did turned up. However, it was not a good meeting as Guo Wei sharing ideas only to Joshua while I sharing ideas with Guo Wei and Joshua. I was talking to the both of them and Guo Wei was talking softly to Joshua. I can still hear them but it was soft and some parts I did not hear it. In the end, the meeting ended shortly after. I told Joshua to discuss online as Guo Wei was unco-operative. He is mixing his personal and studies together as one issue which means he brings the attitude of the incident to the assignment. That is the reason I ended the meeting. Whatever I say, he will not listen. Yesterday, I sent an sms saying that there is meeting today. IF ANYONE DO NOT WISH TO SEE ME TOMORROW, THEY CAN GO BACK AFTER THE PRACTICAL ENDED AND I WILL NOT REPORT TO THE TEACHER. (I missed out the "me" in the original message). This is because I know that Guo Wei most likely will be still angry after what had happened yesterday afternoon. He turned up and I thought he is fine already, ready to get work. In the end, it was not what I expect. He still not ready for work, in fact he still brings the attitude to the meeting. He just comes for the sake of coming. We are close to or already 18 and he is already 18 for crying out loud! He still cannot separate between work and personal life/friends. The meeting is to discuss the assignment, NOT TO SHOW YOUR F***ING ATTITUDE FROM YOUR PERSONAL LIFE OR TO SHOW YOUR UNHAPPINESS TOWARDS ME. WHEN IT IS WORK, TALK ABOUT WORK ONLY. WHEN IT IS PERSONAL LIFESTYLE, WE TALK ABOUT PERSONAL LIFE STUFF. NOT MIXING EVERY SINGLE S*** INTO ONE BIG F***ING LUMP AND DROP THE F***ING BOMB TO ME! 18 YEARS OLD AND YOU STILL STUBBORN, SORRY I CANNOT TOLERATE THIS KIND OF STUBBORNESS IN WORK. I CANNOT TOLERATE PEOPLE WHO MIX PERSONAL AND WORK. But for Guo Wei, I choose to believe it is only for a moment. I believe that he remove his cold attitude towards me and we can be friends again. When i talked to him earlier on the meeting, he told me, 'I regretted saving you back then.' Back to the hamster issue, it was Guo Wei who first told me about it, followed by Lidya. Back then, Guo Wei told he felt that I have the right to know what is going on. SAME GOES HERE! Lidya have the right to know about what is being talked about her behind her back. SIMPLE AS THAT. IF YOU THINK I TRYING TO SABOTAGE YOUR FRIENDSHIP WITH LIDYA, YOU ARE NOT MY FRIEND. LIDYA, LEON AND TSZ TING UNDERSTAND ESPECIALLY LIDYA WHO UNDERSTAND ME TOTALLY. Then again, if you had told her how you feel, would this happen? WOULD IT? Instead of telling another person, tell it straight into the person's face. Simple? Yes? If you got the guts, say it straight it the face of that person. IF YOU ARE UNHAPPY WITH ME, SAY IT OUT LOUD IN FRONT OF ME. The way I see now and I can describe it with one word: CHILDISH. We are already young adults, we can talk it out and you choose to show your F***ING childish attitude to me. Wow, maybe you should go back to primary school. You got a mouth, why not talk to me? EVEN IF I TALK TO YOU, WOULD YOU EVEN LISTEN A SINGLE D*** THING INTO YOUR F***ING HEAD? WOULD YOU? CAUSE YOU ARE JUST F***ING TOO STUBBORN! BESIDE STUBBORN, YOU ARE PETTY AS WELL CAUSE YOU BEAR GRUDGES WITH PEOPLE. Enough saying. I'm tired. I'm sick of it. I don't want to join ANY F***ING CLIQUE ANYMORE! I'M BETTER OFF THAN ALONE. AND YES, I REFERING TO CHENG GUO WEI FROM MB0903 WITH THE ADMIN NUMBER OF 094357H. NO MORE F***ING GUESSING GAME! F*** THIS ****