31 March 2008

this is just my point of view, an argument will not be able to start if only person started it. Like for example, you cant clap with one hand but with both hand u are able to clap. Same goes to the argument, there will be two parties. Thats all i think. Hope the quarrel REALLY END FAST!!

Anyway, i got back my a maths test on differentiation when this time was not as bad as last. I got 23/25 for the test. WOO~~~ My hard work paid off. However this is just only temporary relief. The major hurdle is not over yet.... Also, during english lesson, we watched a movie on a choir in a Orphanage in France. Well, i watched it for 4 times already. Still, it's worth watching as it is touching and heart warming. My class was expected to write on how we feel about the movie. Tml got the stupid speech day rehearsal which cancelled all the extra lessons tml. Sometimes, i wonder studies more important or SPEECH DAY IMPT.

If u are feeling low, i will be there to cheer you up
If u are feeling mad, i will be there to chill you down
No matter what happened, i will be there for you.
Take care.

30 March 2008

Hmm.. About the incident, i willing to admit my mistakes and apologize for it. I admit that i Chup into the incident but seeing you all arguing with each other, seeing my friends fighting with each other really do not feel nice. I have a question in my mind, if let say you and them had a chance to patch things up will u want it or throw it away? I really hope that thing between u and them get better instead of worse. About the guts matter, i also admit that it was my fault. Guess i did alot of mistake without myself knowing it. I hope it is not too late to amend them. I ask for your forgiveness with a pure sincere heart. If u dun want to forgive me, i have nothing to say. It's your choice and i have to respect it. From your blog, i know i have pissed u off big time. Sorry. Hope the quarrel will end fast, that is all i ask for... When someone's pride is too strong, a friendship is killed in the end.

27 March 2008

Recently, the argument got worse. ya, got very worse. Guess really dun have the chance the patch up. Nvm. To some of my friends, if what she types is about you and your heart is clear of guilt. Juz ignore her, dun waste your time on it. Rather than u study and get good grade than wasting time on this incident. U get wad i mean? Life is short so dun waste a second on incident that make u angry, hang out with your best grp and chill out instead. Thinking of angry things will at most lead u to a early death. Why bother? I know what she type but is her hand and i cant stop it. Those action are usually done by those who dun have guts to say it in front of them. Just one sentence : JUST IGNORE THEM!


srry for juz now. i didnt mean to do it but i have a timing to keep. Hope u understand. Srry....

26 March 2008

Today sucks. Why? Last night i called some people to come down from rehearsal today. Guess what? All the sec three and four i called failed to turn up. The sec three and four ought to be shame cause THE WHOLE CONTINGENT CONSISTS ONLY THE SEC TWO CADETS. Thanks alot sec two cadets. Then today got geography test and i think i managed to get a pass, just pass. Today i just realized that my "Sotong Family" had an internal argument. Well, i think i was the last one to know without fail. Nvm. Seriously, i feel that making friends is DEFINITELY better than making an enemies. I only the overall picture but not the details. So i dun really know the reason la but i hope they can patch up together like the good old times. The reason i said "making friends is DEFINITELY better than making an enemies" is that most of the time i feel lonely like at home or in school, so i really wan to make friends la. To chat with me, have fun to together, and help each other out from difficult situation. I guess most of my friend are the friend i describe. I tried to be that kind of friend. Anyway, i am now stuck in a stupid situation, in between two party. Nice one la. Now is the neutral party got blame. Nvm. I guess i dun have wad it takes to make frens huh? Everything i do seemed to be a wrong move. Stuck in my lonely world. My life is full of sadness, loneliness, pain and darkness. Nxt week, all the sad memories come back to haunt me again. Impact after impact i suffered, my heart is full of injuries. Still, going on and on. Soon, it will collapse but i do not know when is it.

24 March 2008

Well, i am back to blog again... Today was on the average line. But today got the Social Studies test, which i kind of last minute revised. Hope this time wont fail again. One more thing, today i was supposed to take my oral exam. However, it was postponed. Luckily.. Then today english lesson was very interesting. The lesson was on recollection. The English teacher let us listen to a "song" about a soldier get caught for playing a deck of cards. He managed to explain that he is not playing with the cards instead the deck of cards was his "Bible". If you wonder how he did it, check out in the Youtube and find "A Deck Of Cards". I find it pretty interesting. Then tml got POA test on debtor and creditor control A/C, super sian. Next Friday is a day that really i have no mood, consider it a sad memory. I guess time is not on my side. Gtg to study for my test tml... Bye~~~

22 March 2008

Today was raining.. I listened to the sounds and somehow i was in a dazed... Dunno why. Thought i could have i peaceful weekend, well things dun work out my way. Instead, i had started a argument with my mother. Argument was fierce very fierce. We thrashed things out. Still, she doesnt understand what i need. I just want to have my own FREAKING SPACE AND SOME FREEDOM. THATS ALL. IT IS NOT DIFFICULT TO GIVE. Then somehow, i brought up my father's death. Nvm. I was the only child in the family. I get lonely at home most of times. Thats why i stay in school at least i can see some of my friends in school and have a short chat. Can at least keep me out of loneliness. ROAR!! I hate the fact my father is dead. I REALLY HATE IT. WHY GOD HAVE TO TAKE MY FATHER AWAY FROM ME WHY!!! Why god have to be cruel to me.. I hate it (T.T) Sometimes, i really wish my father was alive standing beside me....

20 March 2008

Today was fun... My class had SCDF course on CPR.. We went up to the library and saw some fake "bodies". Some of us were itchy hand went to play with. Then the instructor came and taught us on CPR. We had fun learning as the instructor was very humorous. Then today was sport heats. I took part in the 4x100 relay which took place today. I was the first runner and i felt stressed. Well, classmates were cheering for the four of us. The first and last runner to me play a crucial part. In the end, we were in the last position but we had put in our best effort. Let it be a win or lose, i feel that our class spirit is there(Though not the whole class come). Anyway, our class is the top of the whole sec 4 level even the second position may have a hard time to catch with us. This is my final years in SGSS... Lucky tml is a public holiday, i think i may snap... Kana bombarded with test and homework. Next week steeping down le and last parade in my CCA life will be the Speech day. Well, i hope the spec will do their best in serving the school unit.
XD i am so tired...

19 March 2008

This morning, i was in very bad mood. In fact, i was going to reach the max. I facing pressure wherever i go. Seriously, i may not be able to take it. I trying to be a good boy, she had to pressurize me even more. I need a break, my own space. She dun get my point. I failed my POA by 4 marks, she dun wan to sign my progress card. She never think that i worked hard in school and i am not a superman. I trying my best to cope all my subject. She never see that i was also disappointed in my result. She saw the result gave me a lecture. CAN AT LEAST GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE OR NOT? Seriously, i wonder wad is the difference of a lifestyle in prison and mine...She scared i will learn bad, can she think if i learn bad. I HAVE GONE BAD LONG TIME AGO, no... She think of that. I AM 15 YRS OLD GOING TO 16 I CAN THINK, WHAT FOR I GOT A BRAIN WHICH I USE IN MY LIFE. What kind of crap logic is that... I seriously need a break... Where is my comfort zone... Where is it...
T_T

17 March 2008

Today i flunked my social studies essay test... Dunno wad happened my brain juz blanked out... I wasted one night studying social studies essay. I think the 4 days course i went may be wasted in some ways i feel. Firstly, i going to step down the next training... I like got only one day to teach everything to my cadets, i am like so stress up. If i can come back as a CLT, it is not wasted after all.. I can help my school unit.. Then again, comes into the whole pictures... Nvm for now i put the idea aside. On sunday, i was very... dunno how to describe. I cant watch when i having my dinner. That is the "best" part of all. Reason given was i got work to do eat faster and finish up m work. Come on la, at least give me a break can or not. I AM NOT SUPERMAN CAUSE I NEED A BREAK. Sometimes, things can get very frustrated in alot of ways and i cant really let it out... I facing restriction.. Sigh..

13 March 2008

Back from the camp with new friends and new knowledge. After attending the Advanced Drill Course or Supernumerary, i realized that our school unit has a lot of thing to catch up on like in drills and other. I will try to pass down as much information to my cadet and leaders-to-be. Also, a thought of signing up as a CLT also came to me. This thought i kind of unsure and still considering over it. First day, we march in the rain. Then before every lunch and dinner have to do ten chin-up( well my arm power isn't really good so it is kind of inconsistent). First 2 morning pt was cancelled due to rain, this morning run 1.6km round the HQ. Anyway, there are good and bad times... In the end, i learnt a lot of thins... The memories was still fresh in my mind. My friend was having fever the past few days, i hope she is alright. Alpha 3 section 2, u guys rocks!!!

9 March 2008

I think i going mad soon. I am already secondary four and still my life experienced restriction. This cannot that cannot. I GOING BONKERS LIAO ROAR!!! I feel like going to work and get a laptop and internet service under my name so that i dont have any restriction. That's it. That is decided. Next year or after my o level i going to work and get my OWN LAPTOP. NO MORE RELYING ON MY MOTHER CAUSE SHE IS NOT GIVING ME ANY FREEDOM!!! I HATE THIS KIND OF LIFESTYLE. EVERYTHING KANA CONTROL!!!! SHE NEVER THINK OF MY FEELING, SHE ONLY THINK FOR HERSELF. She can chat with her frens, wad about me?? I CANNOT TALK TO MY FRENS DURING FREE TIME. i already plan my time nicely and she have to ruin it all.. i am definitely sick of it. i dun share thing with my mother cause she dun really understand how i feel. I studied like mad last year, did she reward me? No... Just ask me to work harder that is the reward i get. sometimes i really feel stressed!!! i cant talk to anyone. Why cant she understand me??

7 March 2008

Today got back my progress card... I had the first look and i don't to look at it again. It is full B and C only one subject is A1 which is my elementary maths. It is bullshit... After seeing this kind of result, i think it is time to work extra hard le.. Otherwise, it will be the end for my studies. I also hate one things which is the fact that when i doing my own things, someone in the house has to poke his or her nose around. That I really dislike it a lot... Hmm.... Something happened today.. Which is a good news to me... Only a few knows.. Few days left to the stupid camp, super sian. Today was not too bad. The thought of homework stacking up after the camp was very dreadful. If my studies drop, i am going to hate it for the rest of my life. I hope she is ok as she was having a bit sore throat. I guess after my camp i can really call and chat with her. Well, she is having camp too..

Seriously, i hate my progress card. Hope it will not be my actual o level result. Have to work extra hard le. Sigh~~~

6 March 2008

Today the sport event was very tiring.. Though i didnt run, i walk to the stadium from my home. The distance was quite ok with me, it like a walk from my the school to Serangoon stadiums... When I reach home, i felt my pair of leg was going to come out... Long time never walk such a long distance. Today long was qualifying round only... My longest distance i think only 4.08 meters... One guy managed to jump up to 4.25 meters... Crap man...

However, some people were missing as most probably down with the soccer match. So they will jump during the holidays i guess??? Hope i make it in the finals... Anyway, i didn't today was my form teacher birthday... Looks like i am a blur sotong... Holiday going for course in HQ some more stay inside the HQ for 4 days and 3 night. THIS IS PURE CRAP!!! ROAR ... I going to step down soon what for i go for the stupid advanced drill course.. wtf reason is this?? Nvm, this is my life. Always get the crap more than rewards.... Life is tough for me man... Sigh~~

Today was not too bad as the class got a free period which is maths.. hehehe coz is my form teacher bday.... Wee~~~ Holiday got homework and classs, YET I HAVE TO MISSED IT ALL. Sometimes i wonder teacher value the student because they are useful or wad?? To me, the teacher is like when u are useful they call you. I am ok to help but can at least the teacher SEE THAT THIS IS YEAR IS WHEN I TAKE MY STUPID O LEVEL. CAN THEY JUST LEAVE ME ALONE AND STUDY!! Nvm... Dun wan to talk about NCC anymore... Give up hope liao...

Anyway, i wan to wish my friends who are taking SPA exam good luck and all the best... Take care guys....

5 March 2008

Today was like half sian and half not sian. The sian part is due to the E Maths test today i had. It had only four question and it took almost the whole period. I less than 20 min and i have completed the test. The test on kinematics... The remaining time i checked the paper and kind of fell asleep. I was in half asleep mode as last night i was sort of on night shift to study and complete my work... The not sian part is when i having my english lesson.. I find the my english teacher teaching is very interesting, she managed to get my attention(The some of the other teacher fail to do get my attention, tendency for me to fall asleep is quite high). After school, i went to see the inter-house badminton match for girls and played badminton for awhile.. Well, i was quite rusty in badminton.

A bit on my personal life, my friends sometimes asked me who i really like.. When actually, i do not like any girls in the school. I just wan to make friends and have good times with my friends. That is enough. Right now, I JUST WAN TO TAKE MY STUPID O LEVEL EXAM. I cant really get in involved in relationship as i am a person which can get distracted super easily. Once i am in relationship, THAT'S IT FOR MY STUDIES. I hope in long jump tomorrow i can make it into the top 3.. Especially got my friend who is good at long jump. T.T Sigh~~~~

4th March 2008

Hmm... Today the whole day i totally feel very sian... I dunno why but i just very very damm sian... My brain turned on and off. I think only my combined science keep me awake... The sport day was the attraction after school which i was looking forward to it. I saw some of my classmate taking part in the event today like javelin and shotput. Though i was helping out with the events, i not really sure if my classmate make it. But never mind la, as long as they try their best can le. At least we had tried our best. Then this coming thursday got long jump and other event... Sigh~~~ Having the thought of been beaten by other classes is kind of discouraging but still i have signed up, juz give in my best shot. I guess this whole week can only think about the sport heats. Chinese class was a total crap. Teacher shot some of us down like birds... Crap~~~

Tml got test is damm SIAN!!! This whole week i guess i will be feeling sian all the way... I wish there is a moment of peace for me.. I seriously nid some peace. I nid to escape from my school work for awhile, otherwise i think going to break soon.... But i cant break down due to some personal reasons. I JUZ NEED TO ESCAPE FOR AWHILE!! I NEED PEACE!! ROAR!!! Still, i have to endure, endure and endure.... The feeling is kind of... dunno wad to say....

3rd March 2008

Hmm.... Today morning wasn't very bad. But i kind of came to school a bit later than usual. When i stepped into the school, i saw the floor was wet and that led me to think that there wasn't going to have assembly. But it didn't turn out to be that way. The students were asked to gather at the parade square. Well, my brain usually not warm up yet and tend to be still in sleepy mood... Still, i quickly go and patrol the school block. It turned out that there were some students still in their classroom without knowing that they were supposed to gather at the parade square. I went to rush them down but it was too late. The national anthem was played. I thought the sec one will keep quiet, they did not. Instead they are noisy to the extent that the first floor can be heard. When the sec one students and i reached parade square, i was expecting some scolding from the DM. It turned out that the teacher was just asking who were making the noise. PHEW~~~

Today i had a maths test... It seemed ok to me except some stupid question which took me quite some time to solve it. Overall, i left 2 question halfway through trying.. Crap... Today social studies test on source based question, well , i totally flunked the whole test... Teacher sure going nag again on friday... =.= That seriously caused a plunge in my attitude today...

Physic and English was kind of relax to me.. No nagging, no scolding.... Peace~~~ Overall, i think i enoyed english the most FOR THE FIRST TIME. The other time was mainly due to boring teachers... Cant really pay attention once the teacher is so BORING...

Last period is Chinese... I dun think i wan to talk about it.. To me... Sigh~~~

Hmm... I kind of quite concern some frens... They seemed to have suffered a fall in confidence and emotion... One seemed to be lack of confidence in studies while one kind of personal case... I hope that my fren take care of themselves and not to forget that there will be me to help them.... One of my mei fell sick... Frens, pls do take care...

1March 2008

Well i juz created this blog... still experimenting with the template and other stuff... Trying to look for a better skin for my blog. This blog kind of look empty for now, i will try to modify it asap. Anyway, o lvl is coming and everyone is working under pressure including. Hope i can quickly step down from my CCA and it is affecting my studies BIG TIME! Sports day is also coming.. Looks to me a very busy year and juz hope that it will be a smooth year for me. I have enough of bullshit and crap last year. I wan juz to enjoy some peace and some time of my own... Test coming like nobody business and homework piling like fcuk, one day time is not enough for me... Sigh... ROAR... Soon, i am going to hit the max again... everyday trying to find comfort in music... sigh...